Everyday Indulgences

New! Family Features – Women across the country are meeting the demands of busy schedules and tightened wallets by setting aside life’s simple pleasures and putting themselves at the bottom of the to-do list.

In fact, a new survey commissioned by the makers of Edwards frozen desserts finds more than nine in 10 American women have cut back on indulgences during the past year.

Fifty-nine percent of survey respondents are cutting back on events out with friends and more than one-third (35 percent) are cutting back on even the smallest treats, such as manicures and desserts.

The survey also found that:

  • Nearly all (94 percent) American women in the study admit that they don’t indulge or treat themselves as often as they’d like because other people or commitments come first.
  • Fifty-six percent of women say they don’t treat themselves as often as they’d like because they can’t afford to.
  • Nearly a third (32 percent) of women say they now have less free time for themselves than they did a year ago.

Small rewards offer sweet peace of mind

Heather Reider and Mary Goulet, founders of MomsTown.com and hosts of MomsTown Radio, know a thing or two about the challenges of juggling a family and career while making the time to treat themselves.

Continue reading “Everyday Indulgences”

Grill Once, Dine Twice

A sizzling steak hot off the grill and a glass of wine make a sensational pairing for steakhouse dining at home. Savor the warm weather with al fresco entertaining and create a restaurant experience in your own backyard for less. Share this recipe with family at www.familycrossings.com

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A sizzling steak hot off the grill and a glass of wine make a sensational pairing for steakhouse dining at home. Savor the warm weather with al fresco entertaining and create a restaurant experience in your own backyard for less.

Simple rub and marinade recipes start you off on a double duty dinner – grill once and dine twice for even more savings, using remaining steak slices to top fresh salads and sandwiches.

Delight your friends and family with flavorful beef recipes served with your favorite Sutter Home wine. The same wines served with the steaks make excellent companions to the “planned-over” recipes as well.

Visit BeefItsWhatsForDinner.com for beef grilling guidelines, safety tips and additional recipes. For more information on wine choices and pairings, visit SutterHome.com.

Wine Tips

  • Offer a selection of red, white and blush varietals so your guests can sample more than one.
  • One 750 ml bottle of wine will yield approximately five 4-ounce glasses.
  • Serve red wines at 55° to 65°F. White wines are best well-chilled at 45° to 55°F. Avoid over-chilling- it subdues the wine’s aromas and flavors.

Steak Preparation

For naturally tender steaks, a simple rub using fresh herbs and garlic adds a depth of flavor. For less tender steaks, a basic marinade incorporating acidic ingredients tenderizes and adds flavor. Marinate the steaks at least six hours, but no more than 24 hours to help achieve perfect results.

Steak and Asian Noodle Salad

Combine cooked whole wheat or regular thin spaghetti with sugar snap peas, shredded carrots and thinly sliced red bell peppers. Combine equal amounts Asian vinaigrette and hoisin sauce. Drizzle over pasta and vegetables; toss to combine. Top with grilled steak slices and toasted sesame seeds.

Wine pairing: Sutter Home Chardonnay

Steak, Mango and Avocado Salad

Top mixed baby salad greens with cubed fresh mango, sliced avocado and red onion, toasted pumpkin or sunflower seeds, crumbled queso fresco cheese and grilled steak slices. Drizzle salad with lime vinaigrette.

Wine pairing: Sutter Home Zinfandel

Mediterranean Steak Pita

Spread pita or flatbread with hummus. Top with sliced cucumbers and tomatoes, chopped Kalamata olives, crumbled feta cheese and grilled steak slices. Serve with plain yogurt combined with finely diced cucumber and minced garlic.

Wine pairing: Sutter Home Merlot

Steaks should be cooked at a medium heat setting. For charcoal grills, cautiously hold the palm of your hand at cooking height above the ash-covered coals. Count the number of seconds you can hold your hand in the position; approximately 4 seconds is medium heat. All cook times are approximate for medium rare (145°F) to medium (160°F) doneness. Use an instant-read thermometer inserted horizontally into the side of steaks to check doneness. Allow 10 to 15 seconds for thermometer to register the internal temperature. Always use tongs to turn steaks.

Lemon-Oregano Rubbed Steaks

Ingredients

  • 2 pounds beef tenderloin, top loin, ribeye or top sirloin steaks, cut 1 inch thick
OR
  • 2 pounds top blade (flat iron) steaks (about 8 ounces each)
OR
  • 4 pounds T-bone or porterhouse steaks, cut 1 inch thick
Rub
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh oregano or 1 tablespoon dried oregano leaves
  • 1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon peel
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon pepper

Preparation

  1. Combine rub ingredients; press evenly onto beef steaks.
  2. Place steaks on grid over medium, ash-covered coals or over medium heat on preheated gas grill. Grill according to the chart for medium rare (145°F) to medium (160°F) doneness, turning occasionally.
  3. Serve half of steaks immediately, as desired. Cover and refrigerate remaining steaks for later use. Before serving, carve steaks into slices; season with salt and pepper, as desired.

Serves
Makes about 3 tablespoons rub

Notes, Tips & Suggestions
Wine pairing: Sutter Home Cabernet Sauvignon

Lemon-Oregano Marinated Steaks

Ingredients

  • 2 pounds beef flank or skirt steaks
OR
  • 2 pounds top round steaks, cut 1 inch thick
Marinade
  • 1/3 cup olive oil
  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh oregano or
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano leaves
  • 1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon peel
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon pepper

Serves
Makes about 1/2 cup marinade

How To Survive Unemployment

Losing your job is one of the worst things that could happen, especially in a period when hiring is slow. With the right tools, you can make it through an unemployment slump, keeping your credit in tact, and continuing to manage your debt.

Losing your job is one of the worst things that could happen, especially in a period when hiring is slow. With the right tools, you can make it through an unemployment slump, keeping your credit in tact, and continuing to manage your debt.

When you’re job searching, you don’t want to worry about anything else, least of all your credit and debt. Those two things could play a significant role in making your next career move. Many employers use your credit history as one of the hiring factors. If you suddenly let your credit go after losing your job, your employer could conclude that you’re not able to handle high pressure situations.

Get a Temporary Source of Income

As you work on getting a new job, now’s the time for some serious planning. First, find out if you’re eligible for unemployment benefits. Alison Doyle, About Guide to Job Searching says you might even be able to file for unemployment online or over the phone. Check with your state’s unemployment office to find out if you’re eligible and whether you must apply in person.

Use your emergency fund to bridge the gap between your unemployment benefits and severance pay (if any). This is the reason you spent months building a solid emergency fund. Use to help pay the bills, but use it sparingly because you don’t know how long you’ll need it.
Rein in Your Expenses

Reassess your budget. You’ll need to decrease your expenses to compensate for the decrease in your income. Go through your budget and cut out any luxury expenses. In the beginning it might be hard to talk on your cell phone less often or go without cable television, but you’ll adjust. Cutting back will stretch your emergency fund further and keep you from relying on credit cards.
Keep Credit and Debt Under Control

Don’t make any new credit card charges. Without a reliable source of income – even unemployment benefits won’t last forever – you can’t afford to make any new credit card purchases. Resist the temptation to use your credit cards to keep your lifestyle at a pre-unemployment level. It won’t take long for your credit card balances to get out of control.

Don’t take on new debt. The last thing you need in this situation is another bill. Though you might be tempted to take out a personal loan, now isn’t the time. Put off car and home purchases until after you’ve been gainfully employed for a few months and you’ve had time to rebuild your depleted emergency fund.

Keep paying all your bills, even if it means making minimum payments. You can pick up with higher payments after you’ve gotten a new job. Be extra careful not to be late on any payments. Late payment fees are an unncessary expense and make it harder to get caught up.

Recognize when you need help. Ask your creditors and lenders for help as soon as you see you’ll need it. If you wait, it could be too late for them to do anything for you. Consumer credit counseling is an option if it get hard to make your credit card payments.

You can make it through a period of unemployment and maintain your credit and debt. You just have to make the most of your resources and avoid overtaxing yourself with more debt.

Teens and Credit Cards

Today, teens get offers in the mail for cards with credit limits that make us cringe. What are some guidelines for helping your teens treat credit with the respect it deserves?
Share your experiences with other family members at Family Crossings

Even with good training, teenagers can sometimes have real difficulty with the onslaught of credit offers they receive, usually in the senior year in high school and early college. Times have changed since we fathers were teens. A credit card was seen as a mark that you had “made it”–that you were credit-worthy. Today, teens get offers in the mail for cards with credit limits that make us cringe. What are some guidelines for helping your teens treat credit with the respect it deserves?

1. Helping them understand credit will help them respect it. Understanding how credit cards work is a big help to teens. They certainly won’t get the true story by reading the ads and solicitations they or their friends receive. Some really good tools for fathers who want to help teach their children about credit include:

* Credit Card Payoff Calculator. This site shows you at various interest rates how long it will take to payoff a given balance if you only make minimum payments. This is an incredibly easy resource and the truth can be astounding!
* Written just for teens, the Learn Good Credit Management Page at studentcredit.com can really help a teen understand why credit card companies want them and how they can discipline themselves.

2. Start them out slow. With continuing concerns about teens in credit trouble, it makes some sense to teach them the value of good spending habits with plastic. There are several opportunities to do this with some innovative products. A parent or teen loads the card with value via electronic funds transfer and then teen then uses the card until the limit is reached. Visa provides online web access to spending records and allows funds to be added to the card at the parents’ initiative.

3. Think about intervention. One of the best ideas I have seen is a credit card sleeve that is marketed by the Institute of Consumer Financial Responsibility. These sleeves have messages on them like “Warning: Overuse is Dangerous” and “If You Can Eat It, Drink It, or Wear It, It is NOT an Emergency.” Visit the ICEF site for information on these sleeves.

4. Don’t Bail Them Out. If, despite all your best efforts, your teen gets overextended on credit, take a firm hand. Let them experience the consequences of bad financial decisions. You can accompany them to visit the Consumer Credit Counseling Service in your area and help them find a way to get out of debt on their own. It’s better to help them take responsibility for a $2,500 debt than a $25,000 debt later on!

Teenagers and Money Management

Having been raised in a family where money was usually quite tight, I had learned the value of being frugal by experience. But I have to admit, I didn’t always make good decisions about how to use that important resource in my life.
Visit Family Crossings For more information and useful tips.

My first real job was cooking french fries and waiting on customers at McDonald’s in my hometown of Seattle, WA. At sixteen years old, I was making an awesome $3.25 an hour and feeling rich every two weeks when that pay envelope hit my hot little hand.

Having been raised in a family where money was usually quite tight, I had learned the value of being frugal by experience. But I have to admit, I didn’t always make good decisions about how to use that important resource in my life.

As I have watched my teenagers at their first part time jobs as high school students, I have relived some of those painful memories. As I see them “squander” their play money on everything from junk food to $250 prom dates, I remember the feelings all too well. But, fortunately, my wife and I have tried to instill some good habits of savings and budgeting in our children from their very first allowances. And now all three of our teenagers have healthy balances in their college funds and have learned the value of money.

The following are good guidelines for helping your kids manage their money effectively.

1. Start Saving Early. One of the tools we have used is starting a savings account for the kids’ college years when they were about 9 or 10. Even at $10 every two weeks, the savings added up to a noticeable balance by the time they were older teens.

2. Set Spending and Savings Patterns Early. Our rule at home is that 10% of each child’s earnings is used for charitable contributions–a way to give back to the community or church. An additional 40% goes into a savings account that Mom or Dad have to sign for to withdraw funds. This we call the “college fund” and is reserved for getting the child into college or some appropriate post secondary activity. The remaining 50% can be used at the child’s discretion, but we also set up an additional savings account for them to use for this play money. By setting some patterns while they are under your roof, kids can learn good spending and budgeting habits.

3. Consider a Matching Savings Fund. Some parents I have talked with encourage savings by matching dollar for dollar what their children put into a college fund. This pattern allows them to see first hand their parents’ attitudes about money management.

4. Family Financial Councils. About once a year, we take one of our weekly family council meetings to discuss family finances. We take Mom and Dad’s gross monthly income and convert it to Monopoly money and then go through the family budget with the children. This helps them see how Mom and Dad budget and how much things cost in the real world. Utility and transportation costs are usually the most shocking for them, and it helps them see the trade-offs that are inherent in any budgeting process.

5. Checking Accounts. Helping an older teen establish a checking account can be the next step in teaching financial responsibility. Most banks and credit unions offer special plans for teens. Also, sit down with your teen at the computer and visit the Checkbook Basics site at aboutchecking.com. This site offers online lessons in writing and recording checks, reviewing statements and balancing your account.

Protecting Your Family During A Disaster

Disaster can strike at any time. Whether it’s a natural disaster, such as an earthquake, hurricane or tornado, or, in the aftermath of the attacks of September 11, 2001, a terrorist attack, your family needs to be prepared to deal with the possible loss of basic services such as water and electricity. The following information and supplies lists are a good start to help you plan for a disaster.
Visit Family Crossings to discuss your family disaster kit in detail.

Disaster can strike at any time. Whether it’s a natural disaster, such as an earthquake, hurricane or tornado, or, in the aftermath of the attacks of September 11, 2001, a terrorist attack, your family needs to be prepared to deal with the possible loss of basic services such as water and electricity. The following information and supplies lists are a good start to help you plan for a disaster.

There are six basics you should stock for your home: water, food, first aid supplies, clothing and bedding, tools and emergency supplies, and special items. Keep the items that you would most likely need during an evacuation in an easy-to carry container. Possible containers include a large, covered trash container, a camping backpack, or a duffle bag.

Water

Store water in plastic containers such as soft drink bottles. Avoid using containers that will decompose or break, such as milk cartons or glass bottles. A normally active person needs to drink at least two quarts of water each day. Hot environments and intense physical activity can double that amount. Children, nursing mothers, and ill people will need more.

* Store one gallon of water per person per day.
* Keep at least a three-day supply of water per person (two quarts for drinking, two quarts for each person in your household for food preparation/sanitation).

Food

Store at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food. Select foods that require no refrigeration, preparation or cooking, and little or no water. If you must heat food, pack a can of sterno. Select food items that are compact and lightweight. Include a selection of the following foods in your Disaster Supplies Kit:

* Ready-to-eat canned meats, fruits, and vegetables
* Canned juices
* Staples (salt, sugar, pepper, spices, etc.)
* High energy foods
* Vitamins
* Food for infants
* Comfort/stress foods

First Aid Kit

Assemble a first aid kit for your home and one for each car.

* Sterile adhesive bandages in assorted sizes
* Assorted sizes of safety pins
* Cleansing agent/soap
* Latex gloves (2 pairs)
* Sunscreen
* 2-inch sterile gauze pads (4-6)
* 4-inch sterile gauze pads (4-6)
* Triangular bandages (3)
* Non-prescription drugs
* 2-inch sterile roller bandages (3 rolls)
* 3-inch sterile roller bandages (3 rolls)
* Scissors
* Tweezers
* Needle
* Moistened towelettes
* Antiseptic
* Thermometer
* Tongue blades (2)
* Tube of petroleum jelly or other lubricant

Non-Prescription Drugs

* Aspirin or nonaspirin pain reliever
* Anti-diarrhea medication
* Antacid (for stomach upset)
* Syrup of Ipecac (use to induce vomiting if advised by the Poison Control Center)
* Laxative
* Activated charcoal (use if advised by the Poison Control Center)

Tools and Supplies

* Mess kits, or paper cups, plates, and plastic utensils
* Emergency preparedness manual
* Battery-operated radio and extra batteries
* Flashlight and extra batteries
* Cash or traveler’s checks, change
* Non-electric can opener, utility knife
* Fire extinguisher: small canister ABC type
* Tube tent
* Pliers
* Tape
* Compass
* Matches in a waterproof container
* Aluminum foil
* Plastic storage containers
* Signal flare
* Paper, pencil
* Needles, thread
* Medicine dropper
* Shut-off wrench, to turn off household gas and water
* Whistle
* Plastic sheeting
* Map of the area (for locating shelters)

Sanitation

* Toilet paper, towelettes
* Soap, liquid detergent
* Feminine supplies
* Personal hygiene items
* Plastic garbage bags, ties (for personal sanitation uses)
* Plastic bucket with tight lid
* Disinfectant
* Household chlorine bleach

Clothing and Bedding
Include at least one complete change of clothing and footwear per person.

* Sturdy shoes or work boots
* Rain gear
* Blankets or sleeping bags
* Hat and gloves
* Thermal underwear
* Sunglasses

From “Disaster Supplies Kit.” developed by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the American Red Cross.

Using FamilyCrossings.com to Grow Your Connections

Imagine if your great, great grandfather or grandmother had left you a book with their secrets for living. Maybe it contained nuggets of wisdom, yummy recipes, favorite jokes, or just insights for how to lead a good life. Ever since people learned of my next book, Life’s Missing Instruction Manual, people are curious how to create their own “manual” for life.

You can leave such a book for your own family. What are the key lessons you’ve learned in your life? Are you ready to share them with your children and grandchildren – or with your friend, siblings, parents, and grandparents?

What you’ve gleaned from your life experiences can make things easier for your children or your relatives. In fact, the lessons you’ve earned from trial and error can be the perfect gift for everyone in your life – or for one person who matters to you. Here’s how to commit your insights to writing and share them with your fellow life travelers.

* Carry a pad of paper around with you everywhere for a week.

* Jot down your thoughts and observations as they occur to you. Don’t judge them. Just make note of them.

* Add personal stories and memories, as they come to mind. Again, don’t edit your thoughts. Just commit them to paper.

* Take a few days to go through your notes, and underline the most important passages, and make additional comments in the margins.

* From this, distill the lessons you most want to share with others: your perspective, your values, what matters most to you, and your reactions to the world around you.

* Find a beautiful journal or blank book – one that you feel a strong connection with. You might find it at a bookstore, an antique store, an online auction site, a craft store, or even a flea market. Where you find it doesn’t matter. How you feel about it does.

* Fill the journal with your own instruction manual for life. Make sure to include a title and your name.

* Find a special person to share it with, and turn the presentation of the journal into a celebration.

If you don’t feel comfortable writing your notes and stories, you can dictate them into a portable tape recorder, and later, you can transcribe them into a journal. You don’t have to be a bestselling author, academic, or philosopher to create a instruction manual that can helped your loved ones every day of their lives… and be passed on to future generations as well.

Children Of Character…YOURS!

We hear a lot today about falling moral standards, lack of respect for others and the culture of “self first.” But our society doesn’t have to be like this, and there is a growing movement to reverse these trends through A person of character … .

• A “good” person – someone that kids will look up to, admire and try to imitate.
• Knows the difference between right and wrong and always tries to do the right thing, even if it’s difficult.
• Sets a good example
• Tries to make the world a better place.
• Is honest, trustworthy, reliable and caring.

Sounds tough, but educating the heart is just as important as educating the mind. It’s important that you have the right tools and materials – books, games, activities, audio are all important ways of communicating with your kids, offering various routes to forming Kids of Character.

Learning To Share…Everything

Two boys in a first grade classroom were arguing loudly over an item they both wanted to use at the same time.

Their teacher approached them in a friendly way and said, “Boys, it sounds like you two are having a problem. Let’s talk it out.”

One of the boys told his side of the story, his face still tense but his voice lowered to an “indoor” volume. The second boy listened and then, without any prompting, came up with a solution to which the first boy readily agreed.

“Great job!” the teacher beamed. “See? You can talk it out!”

A TEACHING PERSPECTIVE CAN PRODUCE AMAZING RESULTS WHEN KIDS BEHAVE INAPPROPRIATELY.

If we approach unwanted behavior from the perspective of our child’s judge/jury/jailer, our first impulse may be to punish.

But punishment doesn’t teach kids what they SHOULD be doing. It doesn’t expand kids’ problem-solving skills, teach them how to repair social mistakes, or improve their social perception.

Fortunately, punishment isn’t the only available tool.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO VIEW THE INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS A “TEACHABLE MOMENT.”

When the teacher in the story above heard the two boys arguing, she spotted a chance to teach better social problem-solving.

Inviting the boys to “talk it out” reminded them of their capacity to problem-solve without shouting or arguing. They saw that “talking it out” could work, and they were more likely to “talk it out” next time.

A teaching perspective has room for punishment in some cases, but the focus is on helping kids learn the skills they need to behave appropriately.

If we view inappropriate behavior as a learning opportunity for the child, new options open up.

HERE ARE TEN CHOICES FOR MAKING THE MOST OF A TEACHABLE MOMENT:
1. Redirect the child toward a more appropriate activity.

2. Inform the child that what they’re doing “isn’t a good idea” or “isn’t safe.”

3. Give a friendly reminder about the rule the child needs to be following.

4. Guide the child through the steps of apologizing.

5. Ask the child to consider how others feel when she engages in the inappropriate behavior.

6. Help the child make amends to anyone negatively affected by the inappropriate behavior. Ask, “What can we do to help (name of person) feel better now?”

7. In the case of a conflict, prompt the children to “talk it out,” providing assistance as needed.

8. Give a new rule, if the situation wasn’t covered by the rules the child has already been taught.

9. Invite the child to think of a better to way to ask for what they want or need in the situation.

10. Teach the child appropriate words/behaviors to replace the inappropriate ones.

The rules of appropriate social behavior take a long time to learn and an even longer time to internalize as habits. Even adults don’t do it perfectly!

When we use our child’s behavior mistakes as opportunities to offer guidance, we’re giving our child their best chance to become more kind, responsible and socially competent. Find more great stuff at FamilyCrossings.com

Teens On Your Terms

Young, wild, and free … isn’t that what it’s supposed to feel like to be a teenager? While it’s normal for teens to push and discover their limits, it’s also dangerous. Due in large part to the fact that parenting decisions are only as sound as the information on which they’re based, more parents are choosing to rely on tools and technology than gut instinct.

Here are three strategies for parents concerned about their children safety:

1. Install a GPS system in your teen’s car.

In the old days, parents would check their cars for new scratches, dents, or overly fast tire wear and ask other parents if they had seen their kids driving recklessly or beyond their geographic limits.

Parents who utilize GPS technology know where their car is, where it has been, and how fast it has been driven. When continued driving privileges are tied to responsible use, safer driving results. More importantly, teens know that their parents have access to this information, which makes them feel safer if they get lost or into trouble. It’s like having a parent in the car at all times.

2. Install software for monitoring email and chat room conversations.

Sexual predators target teens in Internet chat rooms. Parents should obviously urge their kids not to give out personal information or agree to meet someone they “met” on the Internet. However, since teens know their online activities are a privilege and can be monitored, they’ve got a constant reminder. Parents urge teens to resist talking or behaving online any differently than they would if their parents were in the room because, in a way, they are.

3. Initiate a parent – child contract and home drug testing program.

Peer pressure often increases when kids “just say no” to drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Kids need a “socially acceptable” excuse, and the words “My parents test me” stop pushy peers in their tracks. Parent and Child Contract Software (PACCS), developed by Dr. Michael Reznicek, helps facilitate conversations and establish expectations (including both rewards and consequences) between parents and teens regarding drug use. Home drug testing kits can be administered at home and provide instant results for a fraction of the cost of a lab, without sacrificing accuracy or privacy.