Tag: news events

Learning To Share…Everything

Two boys in a first grade classroom were arguing loudly over an item they both wanted to use at the same time.

Their teacher approached them in a friendly way and said, “Boys, it sounds like you two are having a problem. Let’s talk it out.”

One of the boys told his side of the story, his face still tense but his voice lowered to an “indoor” volume. The second boy listened and then, without any prompting, came up with a solution to which the first boy readily agreed.

“Great job!” the teacher beamed. “See? You can talk it out!”

A TEACHING PERSPECTIVE CAN PRODUCE AMAZING RESULTS WHEN KIDS BEHAVE INAPPROPRIATELY.

If we approach unwanted behavior from the perspective of our child’s judge/jury/jailer, our first impulse may be to punish.

But punishment doesn’t teach kids what they SHOULD be doing. It doesn’t expand kids’ problem-solving skills, teach them how to repair social mistakes, or improve their social perception.

Fortunately, punishment isn’t the only available tool.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO VIEW THE INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS A “TEACHABLE MOMENT.”

When the teacher in the story above heard the two boys arguing, she spotted a chance to teach better social problem-solving.

Inviting the boys to “talk it out” reminded them of their capacity to problem-solve without shouting or arguing. They saw that “talking it out” could work, and they were more likely to “talk it out” next time.

A teaching perspective has room for punishment in some cases, but the focus is on helping kids learn the skills they need to behave appropriately.

If we view inappropriate behavior as a learning opportunity for the child, new options open up.

HERE ARE TEN CHOICES FOR MAKING THE MOST OF A TEACHABLE MOMENT:
1. Redirect the child toward a more appropriate activity.

2. Inform the child that what they’re doing “isn’t a good idea” or “isn’t safe.”

3. Give a friendly reminder about the rule the child needs to be following.

4. Guide the child through the steps of apologizing.

5. Ask the child to consider how others feel when she engages in the inappropriate behavior.

6. Help the child make amends to anyone negatively affected by the inappropriate behavior. Ask, “What can we do to help (name of person) feel better now?”

7. In the case of a conflict, prompt the children to “talk it out,” providing assistance as needed.

8. Give a new rule, if the situation wasn’t covered by the rules the child has already been taught.

9. Invite the child to think of a better to way to ask for what they want or need in the situation.

10. Teach the child appropriate words/behaviors to replace the inappropriate ones.

The rules of appropriate social behavior take a long time to learn and an even longer time to internalize as habits. Even adults don’t do it perfectly!

When we use our child’s behavior mistakes as opportunities to offer guidance, we’re giving our child their best chance to become more kind, responsible and socially competent. Find more great stuff at FamilyCrossings.com

Children and News

Children often see or hear the news many times a day through television, radio, newspapers, magazines, and the Internet. Seeing and hearing about local and world events, such as natural disasters, catastrophic events, and crime reports, may cause children to experience stress, anxiety, and fears.

There have also been several changes in how news is reported that have given rise to the increased potential for children to experience negative effects. These changes include the following:

  • television channels and Internet services and sites which report the news 24 hours a day
  • television channels broadcasting live events as they are unfolding, in “real time”
  • increased reporting of the details of the private lives of public figures and role models
  • pressure to get news to the public as part of the competitive nature of the entertainment industry
  • detailed and repetitive visual coverage of natural disasters and violent acts

While there has been great public debate about providing television ratings to warn parents about violence and sex in programming, news shows have only recently been considered in these discussions. Research has shown, however, that children and adolescents are prone to imitate what they see and hear in the news, a kind of contagion effect described as “copy cat” events. Chronic and persistent exposure to such violence can lead to fear, desensitization (immunity), and in some children an increase in aggressive and violent behaviors. Studies also show that media broadcasts to not always choose to show things that accurately reflect local or national trends.

For example, statistics report a decrease in the incidence of crime, yet, the reporting of crime in the news has increased 240%. Local news shows often lead with or break into programming to announce crime reports and devote as much as 30% of the broadcast time to detailed crime reporting.

The possible negative effects of news can be lessened by parents, teachers, or other adults by watching the news with the child and talking about what has been seen or heard. The child’s age, maturity, developmental level, life experiences, and vulnerabilities should guide how much and what kind of news the child watches.

Guidelines for minimizing the negative effects of watching the news include:

  • make sure you have adequate time and a quiet place to talk if you anticipate that the news is going to be troubling or upsetting to the child
  • ask the child what he/she has heard and what questions he/she may have
  • provide reassurance regarding his/her own safety in simple words emphasizing that you are going to be there to keep him/her safe
  • look for signs that the news may have triggered fears or anxieties such as sleeplessness, fears, bedwetting, crying, or talking about being afraid

Parents should remember that it is important to talk to the child or adolescent about what he/she has seen or heard. This allows parents to lessen the potential negative effects of the news and to discuss their own ideas and values. While children cannot be completely protected from outside events, parents can help them feel safe and help them to better understand the world around them.