{"id":413,"date":"2009-10-27T13:16:52","date_gmt":"2009-10-27T18:16:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/?p=413"},"modified":"2014-02-25T10:38:30","modified_gmt":"2014-02-25T15:38:30","slug":"caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/","title":{"rendered":"Caught in the Middle &#8211; Help for the Sandwich Generation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Twenty million American adults are caring for aging parents at the same time they&#8217;re raising young children. Known as the Sandwich Generation, they are feeling the stress.<\/p>\n<p>A recent study of &#8220;sandwichers&#8221; reports that:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>53 percent feel forced to choose between caring for their children or caring for their parents at least once a week <\/li>\n<li>20 percent feel they must choose to care for one or the other every day of the week<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The American Psychological Association&#8217;s 2007 Stress in America survey found that mothers in the sandwich generation, ages 35 &#8211; 54, feel more stress than any other age group as they try to manage caring for growing children and aging parents.<\/p>\n<p>The pressures of taking care of family members, as well as the worry over parents&#8217; health, putting children through college and saving for retirement takes a big toll. So what&#8217;s a sandwicher to do?<\/p>\n<h3>Involve the whole family<\/h3>\n<p>It&#8217;s common for one family member to assume responsibility for older parents. But even the most take-charge, organized person will need help.<\/p>\n<p>Getting siblings and other immediate family involved lightens the burden for everyone, and gives them a chance to show their love for parents, too.<\/p>\n<p>Establish regular family meetings for those involved in providing care. Those that can&#8217;t be there in person can participate by phone or Web-cam.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Keep a list of updates and concerns about health, finances, legal or housing issues.<\/li>\n<li>Talk about problems that may have come up with giving or getting help. Discussing such issues helps avoid hurt feelings and gets problems solved. <\/li>\n<li>Focus on the task of caring for the parent, not dealing with old family hurts.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Find a job for everyone. A brother who lives far away can still help with paying bills, researching agencies, or just calling regularly. A sister who lives nearby but who can&#8217;t give regular care may be the designated back-up for the primary care giver.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s important to get your spouse and children involved, too.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Be specific about how your spouse can help, and make sure that you ask for help, not demand it.<\/li>\n<li>Check in with your spouse about his or her feelings and encourage them to talk. <\/li>\n<li>Be honest with your children about the situation. Answer their questions.<\/li>\n<li>Ask them how they&#8217;d like to help out. Perhaps they&#8217;d like to make cards or show off their newest treasures.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Get outside help&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Community groups and churches often have volunteers who can help with home repair, transportation, meals and companionship.<\/li>\n<li>Talk to those who see your parents regularly &#8211; delivery people, beauticians, barbers or neighbors &#8211; and ask them to call you if anything seems out of the ordinary.<\/li>\n<li>Look to professional care services when your parent&#8217;s physical needs are too much for you to handle.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It&#8217;s also important to take care of yourself. Make time to rest, eat right and relax. You&#8217;re no good to anyone in your family if you&#8217;re exhausted and stressed out. <\/p>\n<p>Caring for two generations at the same time isn&#8217;t easy, but it can be managed &#8211; if you get some help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Twenty million American adults are caring for aging parents at the same time they&#8217;re raising young children. Known as the Sandwich Generation, they are feeling the stress. A recent study of &#8220;sandwichers&#8221; reports that: 53 percent feel forced to choose between caring for their children or caring for their parents at least once a week &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Caught in the Middle &#8211; Help for the Sandwich Generation&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-sharing"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\r\n<title>Caught in the Middle - Help for the Sandwich Generation - FamilyCrossings Blog<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Caught in the Middle - Help for the Sandwich Generation - FamilyCrossings Blog\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Twenty million American adults are caring for aging parents at the same time they&#8217;re raising young children. Known as the Sandwich Generation, they are feeling the stress. A recent study of &#8220;sandwichers&#8221; reports that: 53 percent feel forced to choose between caring for their children or caring for their parents at least once a week &hellip; Continue reading &quot;Caught in the Middle &#8211; Help for the Sandwich Generation&quot;\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"FamilyCrossings Blog\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/twiter.com\/Familycrossings\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-10-27T18:16:52+00:00\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-25T15:38:30+00:00\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"b.collen\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Familycrossings\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Familycrossings\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"b.collen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\r\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/caught-in-the-middle-help-for-the-sandwich-generation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"b.collen\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/blog.familycrossings.com\/#\/schema\/person\/232413b3d0f4f0ee7d25d4d811549832\"},\"headline\":\"Caught in the Middle &#8211; 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